Dating a Sex Worker
by Mimi Tram
Is building a committed relationship with another person the same regardless of her career? Would you expect dating a CIA agent any different than dating a accountant? How about dating a sex worker? How do you introduce your escort girlfriend to your friends? I asked these questions to the boyfriend of my good friend and ex-partner in my luxury sex show.
Q: How did you meet your current girlfriend?
Before I met Annie, I was based in a Hong Kong office of my company. Then after two years in Hong Kong, my boss transferred me to Vietnam to open a new office. When I said my goodbyes to my regulars in Hong Kong, one of them introduced me to her friend in Vietnam who was in the escort business. That’s how we were introduced. We actually did not meet until several months later. I booked her for an evening session shortly after I moved into my apartment. I had a good time, she was cute, funny, and very sexy.
Q: How long were you a client?
Like I said earlier, I booked her shortly after I arrived in Vietnam in March of 2017. She was a very busy escort and it was hard to get on her schedule. I was a regular client for about three months. During that time, I was only able to see her once a week due to her busy schedule. At first, she only let me book her for two hour sessions then later overnights became my normal date with her. In total time, I was her client for about eight months but I still booked other escorts in that first three or four months.
Q: How did you know she was going to accept you as a boyfriend?
That worry never even crossed my mind.
Q: How did your relationship change after you became a boyfriend?
We have a lot more time together of course. Our connection is much deeper and I had to teach myself how to talk about her work without popping a vein with jealousy. More importantly for the guys reading this interview, we need to think about this question in the opposite way. I think the natural growth in our relationship led me to “boyfriend” status. Understand? Just introducing myself as her boyfriend does not magically change our relationship into one of a deep mutual trust. Trust comes first.
Q: Do you still book other sex workers?
Yes I do.
Q: How does she feel about that?
She’s cool with it. I only book escorts when I travel for work and I always tell her about my date in as much detail as she tells me about hers. She made a couple of rules for me to follow and we’re very happy.
Q: How do you feel when your girlfriend “goes to work”?
It is hard for a man to internalize that sex workers can separate the physical acts of sex from the emotional attachments of it. I admit that I still have an occasional bout of jealousy. It really helped me adjust when she came home after a booking and we could chat about her adventures. To me, that made her job seem more normal. Sounds crazy right? We have been living together for almost five months now and I think my adjustment is finally done. A big part of completing the adjustment is the fact that, since Annie moved in with me, she accepts fewer bookings when I am home.
Q: Have you ever encountered a client while you were out as a couple?
All the time. Lucky for us they understood they have a special place in her professional life, not in her personal life. We never had any client intrude into our private time. I read about other escorts meeting a client in a restaurant while they out with their family. I think their anxiety stems from their own feelings about their job. We are not in that situation, I am proud of the successful career my girlfriend has built. So is she.
Q: Did you have more or less sex after you became boyfriend?
No comment LOL. What’s that saying? My momma didn’t raise no fool!
[interviewer note: I have no idea what that means!]
Q: How do you discuss your girlfriend’s life (work, where is she etc…) with your family?
My family knows Annie is an independent tour guide and we have only attended one of my family events in Hong Kong. Since my family lives on the East coast of the US, I have not had to talk about her work often. However, we both feel this conversation will be an inevitable situation. We are ready to deal with it together. For example, I have a cousin who lives in Singapore. She knows the full story and we have her support. My family is very open minded and I know they will receive the news of her career in a positive way. But, here’s another saying for you, “I don’t believe in poking a sleeping bear”.
Recently, we have looked into getting her a tourist visa to travel in Canada and USA. After reading the application form for a US visa, we realized that practical reason exists to get a “cover job”.
*The opinions contained in this article are those of the author.